MID-SEASON ANALYSIS
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* ON THE RISE *

SLICKS : Truly phenomenal how this team continues to shine. They have been the #1 Power Rank 85% of their existence. No team has ever been undefeated at midseason until now. They are posting a career 13-1 first-half record! The only flaws to bubble are some inconsistent player performances and the waning point total. They are, nonetheless, speedskating towards the FantasyBowl without many left who could catch them. Could they prevent that awful slide that debunked them last year at title time?

FORNINO'S JETS : Undeniably a better team than last year's FantasyBowl Champions. There was a strategic shift within the managerial department this offseason that has enhanced them tremendously. Does the owner John Fornino, the silent italian, agree with this 'no NY Jet' player policy?! It would seem he'd be quite happy with victories either way. One could question their mounting injuries eyeing the second half, but last year they blew away the competition, so it would only serve to think that these 'what ifs' could be tossed aside. Point totals are average and the Autumn Division has come down to a two-team dogfight already. They are definitely playoff-bound and in another position for a rematch for the shiny hardware.

JO-T.B. : Is this a team we are looking at or is Joe running an infirmary?! Six players are hobbling around the sidelines, but several transactions have come through in timely fashion, if only for a one-game add-in. Juggling a revolving lineup sure takes some skill, especially when you consider that they have the second highest point total with 18 different starting players since opening day! Kurt Warner seems to be MVP material and if this team is holding tough now, trouble looms for the other franchises once his players mend.

G-MEN : Once thought to be a second-rate team, they are on the heels of the Slicks, if only to serve as an impending threat. A mediocre finish can actually earn them a well-deserved wildcard slot. Gee man, I wonder if this guy can capitalize.

NIGHTSHADE : Incredible numbers!! The team is a couple steps from choking away the competition as its current rank seems an ill-fit for a franchise with no player casualties and a grandiose effort from all positions. I believe I speak for many when I say that a new poison has entered the playoff ring.

X-MEN : The G-MEN'S kid sister. How a team with a losing record can overtake the thick crop of the above talent, I cannot fathom. Yet, there is a place inside of them that can resemble the Incredible Hulk if angered. Is it too late? Will this team stop being careless and come alive?

* ATTRACTING FLIES *

DOOMSDAY : Holding steady with a painfully-low 88 GPA hardly merits fear for a foe's life. This team seems to have inner confidence in not opting for pool transactions that have helped the other competitors. Is this a new strategy being employed to counter last year's fatal fall from the elite? I think he should call an 'end of the world' to that idea and decide to run with the pack before it is too late. You know what? Something tells me it already is.

LYCANTHROPES : There isn't much you can do if your players aren't playing for you. Losing streaks of 3+ will kill almost anybody. Why is this carrying over from last year? Is the Harvestmoon Division causing wild side effects to its franchises?
Exhibit A ~ Please explain how the hapless Marlboro Men team made the playoffs.
Maybe a heart-to-heart with his team player selections are in order. Either that or finish the transformation into the league's doormat.

RENEGADES : A new owner commiting one of the traditional rookie draftday mistakes choosing players five years past their prime {Rice & A.Reed}. And there are other errors mind you. I have heard that John has painfully mended his outlook and is anxiously looking towards to next years' draft. Well, at least a future hope will bring a smile for now, but what happens when his favored Bills lose Doug Flutie?

FEROCIOUS WOMBATS : 'Down Under' seems the perfect metaphor. A castaway team by a rich, rookie owner. Looking at his running back stats thus far, he had better think on engaging upon a learned fantasy football website soon, because he is making us all gag on the stench of these crappy performances.

ROGUES : An all-around bad team. Sure, the high draft gambles didn't pan out, but what really darkens the mood is that they are the very same team from last year in point production. Not much to be happy about, I can assure you. A little funeral music maestro!! {bagpipes begin}

FRANKFORT FLASH : My lord, where is the pilot light on this thing? Seven straight losses to open the sophmore season! You better beat the Thunder from last year or I'd hand in my Italian flag.

Never criticize your wife's faults.
It might have been those faults that kept her from getting a better husband.

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