MIDSEASON ANALYSIS 2012

* FOOTBALL PRODIGIES *

SHWIINGS : Looking for Mr. Three-peat bar or shoooould i say Dynasty bar ???! The # 1 Power weeks keep accruing and everything is in place for another playoff run where King Tom may cement his place in history as the greatest regime ever.
This year is truly a battle as he signs long-favored RB Ray Rice to an extenuated contract in hopes to remain a "head" in a truly sticky division. Already we are seeing TGAL eyeing the future with more than just LUCK and isn't a past QB from his favorite team not such a pain in the neck?!

ASSASSINS : There have been only three teams in league history to start the season 8 - 0 and you are looking at one of them. Jim's squad is fixin' to top the Most Points record, Best Allplay record AND Best Overall record. He is also two months away from running the schedule 15-1!! He is basically flying under the radar with no fanfare; a truly revolutionizing undertaking. Check out what he is doing to the competition in the Mohawk Valley. I caught it on video myself!
http://youtu.be/BVUMPrv8oRw

TROUBADOURS: Scott entered the summer having to make a very crucial decision to the future of his franchise; should he roll the dice on AD, his best player undergoing a comeback from ACL, or go with the rookie phenom Cam Newton. In a surprise move, he went with free agent MJD; last years rushing title holder. That selection has completely backfired, but this franchise still holds stage presence with a killer Chicago defense and fending off a brutal schedule with his Hamlet style tights in tow. Let's see if this guy is actually going to threaten for the playoffs this time or is he just acting the part.

LIGHTNING : Back from league expulsion, Greg seems honor-bound enough to study the rulebooks and strike some sparks into his newly-acquired players. Smart gambles on Adrian Peterson and an overall potent lineup card has put this Romanian candle in the limelight. Let's hope that this well-traveled sex veteran bears down in the second half and avoid the deprecating attention spans that have struck this franchise down in the past.

NEWPORT JAZZ : Bad management by a now expelled Rockheads cost Mike a playoff slot last season, but he is back to make a claim on that wildcard slot with steady Breezin' of his saxy phone. Aaron Rodgers and Demaryius Thomas are pretty saxy indeed and lead a soulful claim to the postseason if they continue to follow that Unforgetable scat beat.

NIGHTSHADE : The QB corp this guy developed is his most potent in the franchises entire history [a much-needed achilles heel rectified]. RG3 [a 10th round steal] can be the franchise player he has been looking for since the likes of 3 time MVP winner Antonio Gates. Alan is adding ingredients to his cauldron that might spell trouble for future wandering Hansels as this team is the forerunner for the consistent use of the two QB offensive system.

* KAPUT PALL ODDITIES *

TRANSFORMERS: As his moniker ascertains, Rich had definitely transformed himself from an unlucky piece of metal to a scheme machine capable of wreaking havoc. His COY and Suicide nods are a nice thumbs up, but we wondered if his RB choices were meant for other duties than the normal hardcore rushing he is demanding. That said, his WRs are arguably the best in the league.

SLICKS : Will this grizzled, [or shall I say greasy] veteran do what he must to be our third owner Hall Of Famer? He has spoken of the chronic, middling franchise showings the past ten years so maybe we can give him an award based on..... longevity?

GENERALS : Not overly publicized, but very highly anticipated, Mike Fornino entered the fantasy foray in the shadow of his father's 90's teams...the Fornino's Jets. That success [actually a puppet regime led by Fred Hight] was a nice benchmark to maintain as Mike wasn't able to inherit that franchise back in 2001. Well, he has taken the reins of his own team as lovable leader, but I have not seen too much out of him thus far that would have his troops follow him to the ends of the earth. Besides making common rookie mistakes, we all have been there, there seems to be a certain lack of planning or disconnect between his war room and the rest of the league.

ADIRONDACK WOLVES : In a shocking front office move, Jim traded away his perennial player Chris Johnson to instill changing pheromones within his player pack. Old MVP Tom Brady elevated from Protection Status to the new Franchise figurehead, will now lead the charge, but how exactly is he going to accomplish this if he's the only man besides Gore churning out consistent points?

LYCANTHROPES : Getting off to a decent start, this team is back-hoofing it fast. Matt Ryan was a nice lotto find, but none of his RB corp, hell his whole team, is gelling together on a week-to-week basis. Overall, his horror unit has a nice look on paper, but we aren't exactly having a smacking-eachother-on-the-asses-with-ewspapers-contest are we!

GHOSTS: This creepy ghoul came along at the right time. When I told him how the Thundergods couldn't pay their fees, he instantly slapped down stacks of slimy Joss paper and said " Woooohhhhaaaaattt. Count me in...this year I'm in it to win it! Muahahaha!" Gotta love the little fella.

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting--
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!-- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven " Nevermore."

--- 17th stanza, The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe, 1845


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