MIDSEASON ANALYSIS
2004

* MONSTERS OF THE MIDWAY *

NIGHTSHADE : To proclaim that this world champion franchise has transcended into another hierarchy of greatness, may be minimized by the psalmed words themselves. The fantasy equivalent of the '03-'04 New England Patriots has earmarked purple death into an achievement realm never accomplished by another fantasy owner. Record upon record has fallen by the wayside. To name but a few: both winning streak titles and total PR weeks. The biggest two records are yet to come {undefeated Season and best seasonal points}. Will it happen? Watch and enjoy the fun down the stretch, because this may be the best team you'll ever witness in your lifetime!!!

LIGHTNING : Batten down them hatches boys, Greg's turbulent team is storming through! Striking down all his divisional foes thus far, Greg's lovable boasts and "wait 'til next year" anthem seems to now take merit. Though power-shortened on certain weekly outings, this team is starting to separate from his opponents by zapping key victories in the last moments of NFL gameplay. I can name at least three occasions where this occured and that's a good sign when you play in the toughest division of the league. Fire from the heavens! Don't stand beneath that tree!!

HERKIMER HAMSTERS : A few of the greatest producers in this years' NFL encapsulates within the lineup of this animalistic team. Fortunately and expectedly, this should also translate into a very threatening contingency. Countless times, however, a questionable breed of players intermingle within Dave's ranks, but no harm has thus occured. Does he know the pulse of his team or what? Brilliant! We all know that only a wildcard is realistic now, so let's all watch how the little, quiet hamster finds a hole to run through!

TUGBOATS : Yearly talent trends keep this boat afloat at the top of the standings and this season is no different. Despite the potent roster, there are some odd behaviorial question marks seeping into the cracks of John's fortunes thus far. Losing two key games to divisonal foes has sputtered his advance, but this squad is far too gifted to let that take a lasting effect. Once he relearns to flow with the league current, he'll again become the threat he is anticipated to be.

JO-T.B. : Since the inception of the multiple offensive schemes {in which the commissioner has won a humanitarian award], there has been no team that utilized this doctrine more wholeheartedly than Joe. Hamstrung {literally}, he has shifted a basic running game into a swifter West Coast system that concentrates on a "make or break" style of scoring. Well, he has definitely experienced the glory and heartbreak of this venture and now that this system is under scrutiny with vital injuries, it will take utter brilliance to revive a cocky team into a more striking resemblance of a playoff contender. Catch them balls, ya freaks!

X-MEN : This team is quite the scrapper. We can never really discern if Dave is going to squeak by someone or fall flat on his face. His point average is, well... pedestrian, and he is behind the trend with the scrum of the Harvest Moon Division. Nevertheless, this owner tinkers with a good ideology of mixed offensive schemes so he is not out of the race yet. The franchise has a history of starting slow and finishing strong. With a winning record in the first half, you tell me where this trend leads.

* SPONSORS OF THE OLD & GRAY *

ROGUES : We love watching puppies wrestle with eachother, don't we. How cute they are! Especially the little brown scampish ones still developing their power running game. Oh! and how about those nippy drafting techniques they use! How adorable! Can't wait to see how this bitch grows into a playoff contender by Thanksgiving. It's his spot to lose you know!

FREIGHT TRAINS : His year certainly started off on the wrong foot. Let's make that feet, okay? A no opinion for the offseason mandatory vote, late to DraftDay, and forgetting the league website address!? Are you insane Bernie!? It seems this karma spilled over into fantasy gameplay as he succumbed to three straight losses that crippled his playoff hopes. Despite all this bad publicity, he might have found the glue to piece together his team for the second half run.
Yes, Priest Holmes needs to stay healthy and run!

LYCANTHROPES : This franchise really likes to saunter through the backdoor in order to make the playoffs because they are rarely the frontrunner. In this, they can be dangerous, but the fact that he has suffered numerous injuries and debilitating player lawsuits may force George to think ahead to next year when things are more stable for him.
Then again, he is only two wins out of first place. Hmmm...tough to call.

NEW YORK ALIENS : Mike is the league funny man. Gotta' love his emails and attitude despite all the expectation to not duplicate a horrendous 2003 season. Could it be that hard to avoid? Nice grab of McNabb by the way, but it goes to show that you need more of a talent base to surround that star player if you intend to compete in this wicked, wicked, wicked-ass league.

SLICKS : Bye-bye pothead Ricky Williams and so goes the franchise down with him. This years' Miami Dolphins team has nothing really going for it, save the residual franchise $$ benefits donated by Sir Peyton Manning. Like RW, Tom's absence to college has left a void that nobody, not even his family, can fill. Next year, Tom will be a sophmore. We hope he can avoid that slump as well.

EXECUTIONERS : On paper {and critiqued by at least five fantasy experts I might add}, Luke's football team was poised for a playoff berth. He had the talent, the determination, and a new flashy car to drive around in. What happened from week 1 onward is something to make us as sick as watching those beheading videos from Al Jah sera Network. Injury upon injury wracked his starting squad and Luke didn't form the capability of patching it up. Starting George Wrighster for a whole month?! Now that is just plain silly. And what's with the foolishness of not paying your debts? Now he finds himself staring at possibly managing the worst team this league has ever had.

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. {Wayne Dyer}


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