FINAL ANALYSIS 2010

* SEASONAL POWERS *

SHWIINGS : The monkey is finally off of TGAL's back! A Championship Title has been achieved through the reemergence of scampering Michael Vick and a timely kicking game. The QB position kept compounding its interest {26 pts/gm} and was enough to ensure Tom with the 3rd Best Aggregate & 10th Most Seasonal Points of all time. Tom's assault on the record books is now becoming water cooler fodder. And yes, he was measured in as the 2nd Best Team ever to walk the face of this league. One more season like this and he will solidify Hall Of Fame status for his very short fantasy life!

LYCANTHROPES : Vast competitive experience did not elevate this team to appropriate stardom this year, but it was still a success in the fact Geo has shown marked improvements in the points category the past couple of seasons. I guess the unstable RB squad and a disappointment in the QB dept was enough to thwart this nasty animal from transforming into his full potential. Well, at least he still has the Winter League Title to defend! {wait...}

ASSASSINS : As forecast one year ago, Jim is someone to watch out for. Finishing second in MOY votes to TGAL {who logged the 2nd highest seasonal votes ever}, is something to admire as well as his propensity to outbid other owners on transaction investments [BTW: He smashed the record by $34]. Jim's running backs are considered the 3rd Best Corp ever assembled. Desire will keep this killer a firepower as long as he remembers his other league responsibilities as well.

SLICKS : We have seen this franchise reborn as Tom was the highest ranking social climber of the year. The 3rd Worst Overall draft selection in league history and an injured team MVP in Antonio Gates made all his efforts slippery when playoff crunchtime rolled around. As appointed Secretary of State to Alan and TGAL, Tom can at least set his sole sights on next years roster address; a highly, crazed area right now.

TROUBADOURS: Rookie of The Year!!! Only 9 owners can claim that distinction of all 43 owners ever introduced. A Bronze finish in the Suicide tournament is pretty good as well. What hypnotic songs will Scott entertain us with next? He already pleased the King, maybe he can please himself next season. Wait? Did that come out wrong?

NEWPORT JAZZ : It's great to see a struggling franchise {aka Muddy Waters} turn themselves around into something like Benny Goodman. Get it? Been..Good...Man. Anyway, a COY award coupled with a FantasyBowl berth launched this blues hipster into a running consideration for best fantasy owners ever assembled; a jump of 14 spots in the Franchise rankings! We'll see next year if Mike can back that sheet up! "Can I have some pizzazz please!" [Saxophone starts wailing in background].

* TREASONAL SCOURS *

NASTY NATES: I guess he never got my midseason memo. More shitty lineup submittals and halfhearted attention to solid league rules has got this clumsy college boy thrown out. I am actually speechless considering the ROY accomplishment last year. Trends say that 75% of ROY winners turn out to be great owners, but I suppose this was one of those "half-baked" exceptions.

NIGHTSHADE : Not a bad finish! A 6-2 second half record, Suicide Tournament challenger, and Winter League Tournament Winner! I know I should be hard on the owner for ending up in this category, but maybe things are starting to turn around!

ROLLING ROCKHEADS : No progress was made during the rest of the season. Not one transaction neither! This team has got to do something rather than sit idle unlike its namesake. And what is with Punt Returner Steve Slaton holding a RB slot on that roster?! Do you have rocks in your head?!!!

ADIRONDACK WOLVES : I guess we can expect another Championship Title in 2011 then? It seems that way as Hawkins couldn't come close to defending his title yet again. Every season after Jim fails to compete though, he is a juggarnaut the very next so you better get your wolfsbane ready!

DEAN MARTIN'S DESTROYERS : Another case this year of an owner not listening to sage advice...and I suppose another explusion to save the leagues integrity. All the team managed to do was destroy a couple bugs [lady] and move along silently through the night waters of obscurity. Good Luck in Indiana buddy!

LADYBUGS: Kathy never got it together this year and has continued her horrible slide down the Franchise ladder into a stinkbush. I don't know if her 2008 year was an anomaly or what, but this is not what I had anticipated the direction of her fantasy career. If she has anything left within her to make good her supposed final season, she had better make her first draft selections in 2011 something to oogle over.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
~ Oscar Wilde


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