FINAL ANALYSIS 2005

* FOOTBALL PRIDE *

LYCANTHROPES : Talk about stealing thunder! George was playing second fiddle for three whole months until December hit; then the beast leapt before us. Smart trades made his transition from a mid-range franchise and it was a soft stroll through the playoffs for the 4th best team in league history! A second championship easily outshining his title from 2001, George is currently the 3rd best in regular season point total & aggregate points. It all seemed too easy as he rarely had to deal with key injuries save the highly ineffectual Ahman Green. Congratulations all around there Geo!!

BIG DOG EXPRESS : Now we address the team that rolled over and played dead the last couple weeks of the season. Playoffs on the line and you pull your worst game ever?!! For shame Lassie! But to put it all in perspective, Chuck was a real firepower this year. He was topdog for twelve straight weeks before being overthrown by a more wicked foe. He has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in his rookie debut. A more balanced roster would have helped his plight and he needed to challenge owners more on the waiver wire, but I really believe that we all need to fear him next year, because this old dog will certainly learn new tricks.

ROGUES : The story of Tiny Tim is getting better and better with each read. He keeps progressing his managerial skills every chance he gets! If I read my geometry graphs right, he should win the FantasyBowl next year. His franchise history is definitely a tale of two Tims. He had the best of times while sharing the worst of times. I'm just going to sit back with a nice licorice tea and read the next few chapters if you don't mind...a truly entertaining saga.

NIGHTSHADE : I had said this all before; Alan has always had a winning season and this year was no different. Eight in a row folks! This season was not for contention, but as long as he still holds the title as Best Franchise Ever, the 2006 offseason will be just another enjoyable wait until the campaign runs anew.

PLAYMAKERS : On paper, this team was sure to hurt people. But what the reality has shown in the end is that this team's chemistry was lacking. It is very important for any manager to be in sync with his organization to make it function properly. Wins don't come easy when football fists of fury are flailing about from every other inspired owner. One bit of excitement is that the Larry Johnson draftday gem will shine next year; a true bastion of hope in the thin '06 protection pool.

X-MEN : Netting a profit and bumping up your franchise points is not a bad way to end a season. Dave was sharp in critiquing the pool talent this year, but I am always left wondering in my mind; why hasn't this guy ever really gone anywhere in the league? Why hasn't he ever really struck fantasy gold? He always seems to be in the thick of matters when the division races heat up, but in the end, a legit fan base has never been captured. Hmmm...

* ONCE AGAIN... DENIED *

SLICKS : Somehow the Syracuse alumnus hung on despite being outplayed by a couple other contenders for the wildcard berth. The biggest difference in Tom's success was the resurgence of Peyton Manning from a dismal first half. Other than that, he held steady with a few key pickups, but otherwise kept out of the limelight. No harm no foul on this year's report card.

LIGHTNING : Nothing fired correctly this year for Greg as he settled back into yesteryear's sorrows. Some owners questioned his personnel decisions while others thought he rose a tidal wave to victory in last year's playoffs {meaning fluke}. This may be thought upon only because Greg applies the same strategies every year ...make or break.
This year he broke his back on the mountainside {what a gay cowboy}.

HERKIMER HAMSTERS : Uh, another fine season? Yes, that's what I'm getting at here. A third straight winning team and a respectable playoff berth. But I just get this nagging feeling that this whole thing is a facade. Bunce & Son are true underdogs that have captured America's imagination with his timely victories and impromptu run from a 0-3 record. Never been done before! Disney should be calling soon.

GHOSTS : It's criminal to think how a team that doesn't even exist can earn a .500 record. How the hell is anyone losing to this guy? Very ghastly circumstances here.

PHANTOMS : A nice oratorio set the scene for this season to end. Another nonteam knocking about the league and hopefully they can be replaced...

EXECUTIONERS : Notching your name as the 9th worst team in history this year is not how you want to go into the offseason. Luke is statistically the 2nd worst owner to ever have played with us, but he is on pace to be far worse than that! Luke is my cousin, I tend to emphathize with his situation, but how much more can I say on this issue? The guy doesn't know how to coordinate a team.

We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. {Khalil Gibran}


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