FINAL ANALYSIS 2000

* ROSEY SWEET *

JO-T.B. : The best team the league has ever had!! They not only raised the bar on dominance, but tossed it into the rafters! Do you really think another team could average 121.3 GPA again?! The horseman finally took Lady Luck to the Prom and received his roses in the winner's circle. His team jelled into one destructive force unthinkable when walking away from the drafting table. With one year left on Kurt Warner's contract, he is practically guaranteed another title shot in 2001.

NIGHTSHADE : This franchise outclasses itself every season. This time, by running the table (6-0) in the Twilight Division. They are a major force that may have just surpassed the F-Jets as the king threat. A trend has started, however, that may develop into a wonderful problem. Are they like the Buffalo Bills of the 1990's? Making it to the big game and losing year after year? Too early to call, but is that a nice thing to have rather than suffering a miserable season?
2001 looks like a contending year with Edgerrin James in his prime, but they may have to answer the problems of beating a team that dominates them so (Jo-T.B.).

FORNINO'S JETS : I didn't really see a third championship coming from them, but not even making the playoffs? WOW! He really had no stunning airshow for most of the season despite his very impressive point totals. Recently, I heard rumors that the manager might retire (sending shockwaves throughout the gallery.)
I don't know the future of this franchise, but John might have to fumble for another ace manager or his current regime is done. I say this because I see no quality coaches left in his holding tank.
I will feed live reports from the mansion as news develops.

X-MEN : Having notched their first division title, the X-factor is finally realized. Dave has gone to astounding lengths to improve his team, but an overthinking glitch might have hurt him; a pattern that ran straight through into the playoffs. He is known as 'Transaction Man' (to those who know him best) and if this kind of coordination shows these excellent results every year, wear that nomination with pride, young man. Though neurotic with Woody Allen-like mannerisms, I think he is keen enough to learn from these mistakes and hurt somebody dear.

SLICKS : Tom has a lifetime subscription to 'PLAYOFF MAGAZINE'. He receives it annually whether his team is hot or cold. His membership is solid and seems unfazed by the results his franchise obtains by fielding his players without many roster changes from week to week. He answered the call from the middle of the pack this year as if the final postseason seed was destined to be his. I guess dedication counts for something, but when does the circulation stop? Are there many more easy chances left now that the league has strengthened and the deadweight competitors clipped away?

BULLDOGS : Hopefully, this is the last we see of dual team managers. These dogs fought the ugly fight, but thankfully they were sent back to their doghouse for good.

* SMELLY FEET *

LYCANTHROPES : Georgie Porgie Pudding & Pie; Came up short and made himself cry. It seems we are back to missing the playoffs by a hair. Can you taste the blood?

RENEGADES: I take full responsibility for rescuing this abandoned team from the gutter, doctoring it up, while careful not to damage a real owner's playoff hopes. Anyone 'south' of this hapless team has some 'splainen to do.

SEA LIONS : In total, I received three lineup calls from him which proved the seals were all bark and no bite. I guess the clubbing from the rest of the league was inevitable.

ROGUES : It is time for everyone's favorite soap opera and another episode of As The Stomach Turns. Starring Tim Seymour as the dysfunctional father of a hopeless runaway.

FREIGHT TRAINS : Perhaps Bernie will get coal in his stocking for Christmas. That is good. He can use that as fuel for his furnace engines next season. Too early to call if they have what it takes.
Are they destined to be a bullet train or a caboose in this league?

THE FOG : A fool and his money are soon parted. {Mike must be broke}.

Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.


Razorsharp Viewpoints provided by